So Boris is the new Mayor of London, following distantly in the footsteps of Dick Whittington who at least had the saving grace of being a cat-lover.
So what now? Not that I should really care, living nearly 200 miles away and being totally disurinated by the money and media attention lavished on a small corner of Britain.
But here is your chance to predict the consequences, if you can be bothered.
For starters...
1. The Congestion Charge will be abolished for all cars over 3 litres. Since the owners of expensive gas-guzzlers can afford to pay whatever it costs, there is no deterrent and therefore no point in charging them anything.
2. The Congestion Charge for small to medium size cars will rise to £100 a day. These are the people who really clog up the streets and make it impossible for those who matter to get around.
3. The London Underground will include First Class compartments with a hair salon. The extra space required for this will come by removing seats from the rest of the train. Hanging straps will be relocated to the outside.
4. A new Pullman service will be introduced between Paddington and Henley-on-Thames.
5. Kensington and Chelsea will become gated communities. Access will be by showing your membership card for an appropriate London club - preferably not the Garrick.
Your turn....
