Looks good to me for lighting apart from the overall image a bit dark as Jmitchell said.
Just looked at your EXIF data. Your flash was set to manual (I think). The f stop was 0.4 so low depth of field. Set the flash to ETTL and should be ok. Presuming ceilings are white?
Just getting to grips with 430EX but would aspire to 580.
Roger
