Hi Graham - a good question and one I think you've put into context very well with your first couple of paragraphs. Unfortunately there is, IMO, no definitive answer but there will be thousands of views and opinions. The number of variables in home printing is great - calibration, printer, profiles, ink, paper etc, and what combination is good for one is not likely to be good for another.
I pretty much identify with your reasoning for printing, for batches I use a commercial company but for one off's I print at home on a Canon Pixma iP4000. Now to the answer, at least my opinion of the answer - I have tried any number of combinations of paper, ink etc, etc and with my kit I've got it down to using Canon Compatibles from
Choicestationery.com but I use Canon Original PhotoPaper Plus, the latter I get from Ebay, sealed boxes, often BOGOF. That gives me more than acceptable prints. Hope that helps.