Since this is in the Critique forum I feel at liberty to say this, but....it doesn't do anything for me I'm afraid Graham. You've made a good effort with the conversion but I feel the original image was not the best for this treatment.
The original is a typical holiday memento type shot (and I have got millions!) but not one that I would have chosen for a mono conversion. I think the main problem is that the focal point, which for me is the buildings, isn't sharp. You set yourself a difficult task with that one. Sorry to be a downer
