[Rob Barron]

I wouldn't tell my wife to shut up as frankly that is downright rude! But I agree with Gary, it is all in the timing. Women often assume that because football has no dialogue or storyline to follow, we don't really need to listen to it so they can talk and expect us to listen over the footie. Sadly, that shows a lack of understanding of human physiology. The ears and eyes work in tandem together, they are not too separate entities that can work independently, not even for women who are better at multi-tasking.

So, if you want to talk to us during the football, it will have to be a commentary on the game so that our eyes and ears can give the integrated information to the brain. I know this sounds a bit daft but I assure you it is true: if you watch football and listen to an unconnected dialogue, one of three things will happen: 1) You will hear the story but miss the action, even though your eyes are looking at the screen, 2) the sound going in your ears will not make sense to the brain as your eyes are remaining dominant, or 2) you will confuse the brain and not actually hear the story properly nor catch the action of the game. What will definitely not happen is that you will catch the action and the story.

So come on girls, it's a maximum of 45 minutes to half time or full time. If you say 'Babes, can I talk to you at half time?' they will if they are reasonable be perfectly open to that. If the game is not doing much, they might even say 'Go ahead, we can talk now if you want' but don't bank on it! Likewise men, why interrupt your wife/partner when they are watching Eastenders? So what if it bores the pants off you? It doesn't to her and she no more wants to miss Grant kissing his latest bimbo than you want to miss your star player scoring the winning goal!

This isn't made up, it is available in any good marriage/relationship guide :o)

Now, shut up, I'm watching the footie! <g>