[ppuga]

- You are not Ansel Adams
- Neither are you Herb Ritz
- Automatic Cameras - Aren't
- Auto Focus - won't
- If you can't remember, you left the film at home
- No photo assignment remains unchanged after the first day of shooting
- When in doubt, motor out
- If a photo shoot goes too smoothly, then the lab will lose the film
- If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid
- Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Client is watching
- The most critical roll of film is fogged
- If you forgot, then you did not rewind the film
- Photo Assistants are essential, they give photographers someone to yell at
- The one item (batteries, film, and ect.) you need is always in short supply
- Interchangeable parts aren't
- Long life batteries only last for a couple of rolls
- Weather never cooperates
- Everything always works in your home, everything always fails on location
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism
- The newest and least experienced photographer will usually win the Pulitzer
- Every instruction given to a lab, which can be misunderstood, will be
- There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work
- Never tell the Photo Editor you have nothing to do
- Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't
- No photojournalist is well dressed
- No well dressed photographer is a photojournalist
- Professional photographers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
- The nature shots invariably happen on two occasions:
when animals are ready.
when you're not.
- Same rule just substitute children
- Client Intelligence is a contradiction
- There is no such thing as a perfect shoot
- The important things are always simple
- The simple things are always hard
- Flashes will fail as soon as you need them
- A clean (and dry) camera is a magnet for dust, mud and moisture
- Photo experience is something you never get until just after you need it
- The self-importance of a client is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness)
- The lens that falls is always the most expensive.
- when you drop a lens cap, the inside part always lands face down in the mud.
- Bugs always want to land on the mirror during a lens swap.
- Your batteries will always go dead or you will need to put in a new film canister at the least opportune moment.
- Your batteries will always go dead during a long exposure (so with the shutter open).
- When you shoot the night away and never have to stop. Your film did not roll on to the take up reel. Sent by Les Benton
- Camera are designed with a built-in sensor, that senses the anticipation to develop the film.
- When the level of anticipation is highest, this sensor causes the back to flip open exposing the film. Sent by Takura Razemba

[CT]

LOL. Brilliant!

[minimeeze]

Lol... and I'm literally following most of those rules

[mrgubby]

Get (and done ) most of them but what's the film stuff and the bit about winding rolls

lol Excellent stuff!

[dazzajl]

all great but the biggest chuckle was this one

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism"

[ppuga]

thats actually one of my favorite ones...

with this one:

"weather never cooperates"

[stevec]

Nice to know I follow some rules the nuns where wrong

[Gandhi]

Sorry, but the first two are the best.

And also the truest. There will never be another Ansel Adams.




And that is a good thing