Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

ASH · 31-01-2006, 11:25

I'm not one for being to sentimental but I found this thought provoking.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded!

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill.

He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe.

He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special - Don't EVER forget it." If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring.

Count your blessings, not your problems. And remember: amateurs built the ark ......professionals built the Titanic.

**stepheno** · 31-01-2006, 12:49

That's a good one Ash - and so true.

regards

SammyC · 31-01-2006, 12:50

So who got the money then?

GfK · 31-01-2006, 13:08

I've been through a living hell in the last three months (several really nasty things happening all at the same time) and its got to the point where my self-confidence is on the floor. I've been on people-avoidance for about a month now, hiding in one room almost 24 hours a day and I'm basically heading for self-destruction. I've had to go to a doctor who yesterday diagnosed depression (he's a clever doctor!

)

Because I moved to a different county a few months ago, he can't do much for me so I have to find a new doctor first, then start all over again and will end up on happy pills and/or speaking to a counsellor.

This has certainly made me think slightly differently, though. I think i'm going to come back to this thread a few times over the next few days and re-read it.

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here.

Liberalis · 31-01-2006, 14:12

Thats cool, I like that so much I've nicked a bit of it for my siggy, lol

SammyC, reminds me of an old saying:

"If the buck stops here .... Where is it ?"

ASH · 31-01-2006, 14:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liberalis

Thats cool, I like that so much I've nicked a bit of it for my siggy, lol

SammyC, reminds me of an old saying:

"If the buck stops here .... Where is it ?"

Beat me to it

ASH · 31-01-2006, 14:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

I've been through a living hell in the last three months (several really nasty things happening all at the same time) and its got to the point where my self-confidence is on the floor. I've been on people-avoidance for about a month now, hiding in one room almost 24 hours a day and I'm basically heading for self-destruction. I've had to go to a doctor who yesterday diagnosed depression (he's a clever doctor!

)

Because I moved to a different county a few months ago, he can't do much for me so I have to find a new doctor first, then start all over again and will end up on happy pills and/or speaking to a counsellor.

This has certainly made me think slightly differently, though. I think i'm going to come back to this thread a few times over the next few days and re-read it.

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here.

Hi GfK, hang on in there mate. It will take time but hopefully you will come out the other side, and better for it.

SammyC · 31-01-2006, 14:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

I've been through a living hell in the last three months (several really nasty things happening all at the same time) and its got to the point where my self-confidence is on the floor. I've been on people-avoidance for about a month now, hiding in one room almost 24 hours a day and I'm basically heading for self-destruction. I've had to go to a doctor who yesterday diagnosed depression (he's a clever doctor!

)

Because I moved to a different county a few months ago, he can't do much for me so I have to find a new doctor first, then start all over again and will end up on happy pills and/or speaking to a counsellor.

This has certainly made me think slightly differently, though. I think i'm going to come back to this thread a few times over the next few days and re-read it.

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here.

I suspect that talking abot how you feel with us, effectively strangers who can't/won't judge you, will help you express your feelings. I don't know if it will help but I do hope it makes you feel less alone.

My mum went through exactly what you describe a couple of years ago and it was very painful for involved, I won't go into details in a public forum but suffice to say my mum is 100% now and back to nagging me about grandchildren

.

There is always an end to all of these things, it is just a matter of finding it. Good luck mate.

KenCo1964 · 31-01-2006, 14:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

and/or speaking to a counsellor.

Not a bad thing.
I gave up being a busy landlord/licensee about 2 1/2 years ago because I didn’t have the time to spend with my family. Being constantly on the go and wearing a permanent smile to doing very little apart from home improvements really got me down. I went off my own back to see a counsellor and although I only went for a short while, I can honestly say I feel much better for it. The first couple of times, I thought why am I bothering but I stuck with it……may not be for everyone BUT certainly picked me back up.
Although there may be a stigma attached with counsellors, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

stevegreen · 31-01-2006, 16:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

I've been through a living hell in the last three months (several really nasty things happening all at the same time) and its got to the point where my self-confidence is on the floor. I've been on people-avoidance for about a month now, hiding in one room almost 24 hours a day and I'm basically heading for self-destruction. I've had to go to a doctor who yesterday diagnosed depression (he's a clever doctor!

)

Because I moved to a different county a few months ago, he can't do much for me so I have to find a new doctor first, then start all over again and will end up on happy pills and/or speaking to a counsellor.

This has certainly made me think slightly differently, though. I think i'm going to come back to this thread a few times over the next few days and re-read it.

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here.

Been there and I can completely understand your situation. As others have said you can and will come out the other side.

In my case, my marriage broke up (after a rather badly timed visit home by me

) work was enormous pressure and my life in general was going down the pan, all at the tender age of 31.

I was signed off work for 8 weeks and tried to return after that but totally failed to hold myself together when I saw the company doctor, another 4 weeks passed and I evetually got back but still struggled with life. Anti-depressants continued for a long time, in fact I only came off them just before Christmas but, life is much much better now even though I do struggle at times. I do have to admit that I was self-medicating for a long time, even when on the happy pills.

Counselling was suggested to me and I was all for it, but by the time the appointment came through I felt much better anyway

It's a brave post to make and the last line sums up the isolation that you are feeling, thats one of the hardest things to handle IMO, but, when better its a good indicator (for me at least) that things can be sliding again and something needs to be done, it kind of keeps me in line now

All I can say is, don't let it become a control in your life, do whatever you have to do without shame to get it sorted and really make an effort to get out of the isolation situation as it just doesn't help (that goes for internet forums too, they can be a help as people can relate their experiences to you, but at the end of the day you are still locked away behind a screen........it's an avoidance tactic)

I've said far too much, but best of luck to you!

**Sonsey** · 31-01-2006, 16:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASH

And remember: amateurs built the ark ......professionals built the Titanic.

...and idiot's crashed it!

Liberalis · 31-01-2006, 16:22

Oh thanks, now my siggy looks silly, lol

***Dave*** · 31-01-2006, 16:45

Like others say GFK, hang in there. My wife & I have been through hell the last year, with my daughter having severe Epilepsy. It got to a point where I had to take a year out of work to try & keep the family together & sane. There were times when I thought I couldn't go any lower, but luckily I had my wife to support me & vice versa....otherwise I would have needed external help.

Now we have started come out the other side. We have decided the priorities in our lives..... the flash house / cars are sold & we are moving to be near to family for support, in more modest accomodation, allowing me to return to work part time hopefully.

Like others have said it is the 1st brave move to post here.

Take care.

RobertP · 31-01-2006, 17:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here.

Says a lot for this forum

Can't offer any advice but like others have said I'm sure things will turn around for you soon.

31-01-2006, 18:03

I know what *really* happened on the titanic...and it went something like this :

Captain : "And this, my love, is the bridge of the infamous Titanic"
Woman : "OOoooh, would you mind if I had a quick go?"

And the rest is history....

GFK, I've been through depression, still going through it I suppose, but I was signed off work in Feb 04 with depression, while I was working for the BBC.
My wife was pregnant with our second too, but it had gotten to the point, where all I did was come home from work, walk straight into the bedroom and shut the door, and sat at my PC. If my wife or daughter (then 4) wanted to speak to me, I'd grimace, I couldn't even face talking to my own family.
I'm not sure why, I just didn't want anyone near me, not even my nearest and dearest. I constantly used to dread going to work, the thought of it would make me burst into tears, and when there, all I could do was think about coming home...just to be at home.... I didn't even want to take any interest in the pregnancy. Just wasn't bothered. Not in malicious way, just no interest whatsoever, no motivation, no fire inside me....
Ironically it was a very good workmate of mine at the time, (kinda like a motherly figure), who said to me "Oi..its not lazyness, it's depression...GET to the doctors. There's nothing to be ashamed of".

That, and once I'd been to the doc, a friend from another internet forum who helped me, if you like, come to term with having depression.
As may state, there is still a stigma attached to depression. I was just worried of being accused of being lazy because I didn't want to do anything, nor had any motivation, but the words from a friend from another photography forum I was a member of at the time, stuck in my head and still do to this day.

"If it was a broken leg, then would anyone have a problem with it? So why, just because it's your head that's broken, should anyone have a problem with it? Just because the break isn't visible, doesn't mean it's any less real".

He was also suffering from anxiety and depression too, so words of experience I suppose, but it was those words that helped me come to terms with it.

After being off work for 5 months and messed around and basically s**t on by my employers, with no way out, I felt I was forced to hand my notice in, just so I didn't have to face work anymore with sicknotes etc.
The weight off my shoulders was enormous. By this time though, the second brand of tablets were working (the first lot didn't), and I'd had a 3 of my 6 sessions of CBT, which I'd then cancelled as I felt I didn't need it (I regret that now but thats another story)...

Our son was born a month after handing my notice in, and when the time came for my wife to return to work from maternity 3 months later, she wasn't planning to at first (the plan was for me to get a job), we basically agreed that she already had one, so why didn't we give stay at home dad a try?
So we did, and here we are. I love it.
I still get the occasional crappy day, but that's not depression (not usually), that's sometimes boredom or something else...I can tell the difference now...
If I feel bad, I look for a reason, and can usually find a cause for that emotion.
It's when there is no visible cause for it that it becomes a problem.

Sorry, I've waffled on there, but I wanted GFK (and anyone else reading), that even when the times are really crap, there IS still light at the end of the tunnel, and I hope if anyone can get anything from my experience then that's great.

GFK, If you wanna sound off, then PM me for my MSN address

I found it easy talking to someone who knew the score. Sometimes just talking rubbish helped.

Regards

jewel · 31-01-2006, 18:06

Yes that does say alot for these forums! Wow GFK, you really opened up there. I hope sharing with us makes you feel better but like someone already mentioned

31-01-2006, 11:25	#1 (permalink)
ASH Getting Comfy Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 145	Sometimes we just need to be reminded! I'm not one for being to sentimental but I found this thought provoking. Sometimes we just need to be reminded! A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it." If you do not pass this on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring. Count your blessings, not your problems. And remember: amateurs built the ark ......professionals built the Titanic.

31-01-2006, 13:08	#4 (permalink)
GfK Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 861	I've been through a living hell in the last three months (several really nasty things happening all at the same time) and its got to the point where my self-confidence is on the floor. I've been on people-avoidance for about a month now, hiding in one room almost 24 hours a day and I'm basically heading for self-destruction. I've had to go to a doctor who yesterday diagnosed depression (he's a clever doctor! ) Because I moved to a different county a few months ago, he can't do much for me so I have to find a new doctor first, then start all over again and will end up on happy pills and/or speaking to a counsellor. This has certainly made me think slightly differently, though. I think i'm going to come back to this thread a few times over the next few days and re-read it. Why am I telling you all this? I don't know. Kind of feel 'at home' here. __________________ The camera never lies, but Photoshop does.

31-01-2006, 16:45	#13 (permalink)
*Dave* Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 14,659	Like others say GFK, hang in there. My wife & I have been through hell the last year, with my daughter having severe Epilepsy. It got to a point where I had to take a year out of work to try & keep the family together & sane. There were times when I thought I couldn't go any lower, but luckily I had my wife to support me & vice versa....otherwise I would have needed external help. Now we have started come out the other side. We have decided the priorities in our lives..... the flash house / cars are sold & we are moving to be near to family for support, in more modest accomodation, allowing me to return to work part time hopefully. Like others have said it is the 1st brave move to post here. Take care. __________________

31-01-2006, 12:49	#2 (permalink)
stepheno Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,439	That's a good one Ash - and so true. regards

31-01-2006, 12:50	#3 (permalink)
SammyC Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Bristol Posts: 1,466	So who got the money then?

31-01-2006, 14:12	#5 (permalink)
Liberalis Been here a while Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 381	Thats cool, I like that so much I've nicked a bit of it for my siggy, lol SammyC, reminds me of an old saying: "If the buck stops here .... Where is it ?"

31-01-2006, 16:22	#12 (permalink)
Liberalis Been here a while Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Isle of Man Posts: 381	Oh thanks, now my siggy looks silly, lol

31-01-2006, 18:03	#15 (permalink)
Marcel Posts: n/a	I know what really happened on the titanic...and it went something like this : Captain : "And this, my love, is the bridge of the infamous Titanic" Woman : "OOoooh, would you mind if I had a quick go?" And the rest is history.... GFK, I've been through depression, still going through it I suppose, but I was signed off work in Feb 04 with depression, while I was working for the BBC. My wife was pregnant with our second too, but it had gotten to the point, where all I did was come home from work, walk straight into the bedroom and shut the door, and sat at my PC. If my wife or daughter (then 4) wanted to speak to me, I'd grimace, I couldn't even face talking to my own family. I'm not sure why, I just didn't want anyone near me, not even my nearest and dearest. I constantly used to dread going to work, the thought of it would make me burst into tears, and when there, all I could do was think about coming home...just to be at home.... I didn't even want to take any interest in the pregnancy. Just wasn't bothered. Not in malicious way, just no interest whatsoever, no motivation, no fire inside me.... Ironically it was a very good workmate of mine at the time, (kinda like a motherly figure), who said to me "Oi..its not lazyness, it's depression...GET to the doctors. There's nothing to be ashamed of". That, and once I'd been to the doc, a friend from another internet forum who helped me, if you like, come to term with having depression. As may state, there is still a stigma attached to depression. I was just worried of being accused of being lazy because I didn't want to do anything, nor had any motivation, but the words from a friend from another photography forum I was a member of at the time, stuck in my head and still do to this day. "If it was a broken leg, then would anyone have a problem with it? So why, just because it's your head that's broken, should anyone have a problem with it? Just because the break isn't visible, doesn't mean it's any less real". He was also suffering from anxiety and depression too, so words of experience I suppose, but it was those words that helped me come to terms with it. After being off work for 5 months and messed around and basically s**t on by my employers, with no way out, I felt I was forced to hand my notice in, just so I didn't have to face work anymore with sicknotes etc. The weight off my shoulders was enormous. By this time though, the second brand of tablets were working (the first lot didn't), and I'd had a 3 of my 6 sessions of CBT, which I'd then cancelled as I felt I didn't need it (I regret that now but thats another story)... Our son was born a month after handing my notice in, and when the time came for my wife to return to work from maternity 3 months later, she wasn't planning to at first (the plan was for me to get a job), we basically agreed that she already had one, so why didn't we give stay at home dad a try? So we did, and here we are. I love it. I still get the occasional crappy day, but that's not depression (not usually), that's sometimes boredom or something else...I can tell the difference now... If I feel bad, I look for a reason, and can usually find a cause for that emotion. It's when there is no visible cause for it that it becomes a problem. Sorry, I've waffled on there, but I wanted GFK (and anyone else reading), that even when the times are really crap, there IS still light at the end of the tunnel, and I hope if anyone can get anything from my experience then that's great. GFK, If you wanna sound off, then PM me for my MSN address I found it easy talking to someone who knew the score. Sometimes just talking rubbish helped. Regards

31-01-2006, 18:06	#16 (permalink)
jewel Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,133	Yes that does say alot for these forums! Wow GFK, you really opened up there. I hope sharing with us makes you feel better but like someone already mentioned