Ode to Females

wirelessbubbles · 05-02-2007, 23:57

A poem for girls...

I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends about the size of my a**.
My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a b***h.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest !!!
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you D***!?!

Charlotte · 06-02-2007, 00:08

Excellent stuff

**Markulous** · 06-02-2007, 07:44

Ahh, but can you reverse park? Eh?

Tigress · 06-02-2007, 09:48

... and parallel park too!

**Markulous** · 06-02-2007, 09:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigress

... and parallel park too!

Well, you're a female tiger and so don't count!

REALLY? Reverse and parallel park? How about reading maps?

Tigress · 06-02-2007, 10:02

Maps - not a problem, never got lost yet, how about you?

**Sonsey** · 06-02-2007, 10:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigress

Maps - not a problem, never got lost yet, how about you?

GPS... the saviour of men everywhere!

**Markulous** · 06-02-2007, 10:25

Hey, I'll have you know that I carry a map and compass, tho' actually using them effectively is another thing!

Edit: It's just been pointed out to me that I don't always find my destination first go!

wirelessbubbles · 06-02-2007, 11:27

I can reverse park. AND parallel park. AND I don't use a map because I've never been lost.

I can read them if I choose to though.

**Angela** · 06-02-2007, 12:32

I can reverse park and parallel park AND I can do it all using mirrors only!

jewel · 14-02-2007, 19:21

sweet.

**Dabhand16** · 27-02-2007, 19:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

I can reverse park and parallel park AND I can do it all using mirrors only!

Yeah, but try it in a car.

**Angela** · 27-02-2007, 19:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dabhand16

Yeah, but try it in a car.

Oh, there's a thought

There was I more used to doing in it in an HGV

**Dabhand16** · 27-02-2007, 19:40

Touche'

**Angela** · 27-02-2007, 22:13

Call that one quits then shall we Graham!!?

05-02-2007, 23:57	#1 (permalink)
wirelessbubbles New here Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 35	Ode to Females A poem for girls... I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree. Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on. I can balance the checkbook, I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends about the size of my a. My beauty's a masterpiece and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong. I don't drive in circles, at any cost. And I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost. I never forget an important date. You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late. I don't watch movies with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay to remember the score. I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bh. Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear, I can do better! Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best. Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest !!! I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling. DON'T call me a GIRL , a BABE or a CHICK I am a WOMAN. Get it?, you D**!?!

06-02-2007, 00:08	#2 (permalink)
Charlotte Loves the place Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Romsey, Hampshire Posts: 5,649	Re: Ode to Females Excellent stuff

06-02-2007, 07:44	#3 (permalink)
Markulous Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Peak District Posts: 9,593	Re: Ode to Females Ahh, but can you reverse park? Eh?

06-02-2007, 09:48	#4 (permalink)
Tigress Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: North West Posts: 1,215	Re: Ode to Females ... and parallel park too!

06-02-2007, 10:02	#6 (permalink)
Tigress Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: North West Posts: 1,215	Re: Ode to Females Maps - not a problem, never got lost yet, how about you?

06-02-2007, 10:25	#8 (permalink)
Markulous Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Peak District Posts: 9,593	Re: Ode to Females Hey, I'll have you know that I carry a map and compass, tho' actually using them effectively is another thing! Edit: It's just been pointed out to me that I don't always find my destination first go! Last edited by Markulous : 06-02-2007 at 10:28. Reason: Bad memory!

06-02-2007, 11:27	#9 (permalink)
wirelessbubbles New here Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 35	Re: Ode to Females I can reverse park. AND parallel park. AND I don't use a map because I've never been lost. I can read them if I choose to though.

06-02-2007, 12:32	#10 (permalink)
Angela Pixalo Crew Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Wimbledon Posts: 5,744	Re: Ode to Females I can reverse park and parallel park AND I can do it all using mirrors only!

14-02-2007, 19:21	#11 (permalink)
jewel Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,133	Re: Ode to Females sweet.

27-02-2007, 19:40	#14 (permalink)
Dabhand16 Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dunstable Bedfordshire UK Posts: 8,694	Re: Ode to Females Touche'

27-02-2007, 22:13	#15 (permalink)
Angela Pixalo Crew Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Wimbledon Posts: 5,744	Re: Ode to Females Call that one quits then shall we Graham!!?

27-02-2007, 22:20	#16 (permalink)
Dabhand16 Pixalo Crew Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Dunstable Bedfordshire UK Posts: 8,694