[Gary Bagshawe]

Christmas Carols for the Psychologically Challenged...


1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?


2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas


3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me


4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And............


5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are


6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us


7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why


8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire


9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, J ingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells


10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House


11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe


12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House


13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate


>14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!