Start Today, at least - with a smile ?

Venomator · 15-02-2006, 08:28

Some belated thoughts for the year; (not so sure about numero 7 - must have been written by a non man !?!)

a countdown of thoughts to get you through the year.....

No. 9 - Life is sexually transmitted.

No. 8 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.

No. 7 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an erection, make him a sandwich.

No. 6 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

No. 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

No. 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

No. 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred quid and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?

No. 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE No. 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with
mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
the UK but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the
Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Hope you enjoy and smiled at least once !

Warspite · 15-02-2006, 08:32

ROFL - love everyone of them

daveyuk · 15-02-2006, 08:46

very good

SammyC · 15-02-2006, 08:47

Love #4

P-E · 15-02-2006, 08:54

Nice one.........made me smile on whats turning out to be a bad morning for me

jewel · 15-02-2006, 13:19

he he he, good one! I would have to agree with #7 though Venomator

Jewel

Venomator · 15-02-2006, 17:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by P-E

Nice one.........made me smile on whats turning out to be a bad morning for me

Great stuff ... makes it all the more worthwhile then !

Hope things improved in the p.m. !

Joe T · 15-02-2006, 17:30

Seen those quite recently, but after seeing them this time I decided to send them round at work

P-E · 15-02-2006, 17:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Venomator

Great stuff ... makes it all the more worthwhile then !

Hope things improved in the p.m. !

A little better

GfK · 15-02-2006, 17:52

Number 6 reminds me of "Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man ON fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

Warspite · 15-02-2006, 17:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by GfK

Number 6 reminds me of "Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man ON fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

ROFL

InaGlo · 16-02-2006, 11:17

Number 2 & number 6 nail it for me!
Thanx for sharing!

15-02-2006, 08:28	#1 (permalink)
Venomator Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Hertfordshire Posts: 922	Start Today, at least - with a smile ? Some belated thoughts for the year; (not so sure about numero 7 - must have been written by a non man !?!) a countdown of thoughts to get you through the year..... No. 9 - Life is sexually transmitted. No. 8 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. No. 7 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. No. 6 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. No. 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. No. 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. No. 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred quid and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence? No. 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. AND THE No. 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in the UK but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration. Hope you enjoy and smiled at least once ! __________________ V... Nikon Gear ... always

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15-02-2006, 08:32	#2 (permalink)
Warspite Feet under the table Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Newcastle Sunderland Middlesbrough (UK) Posts: 1,736	ROFL - love everyone of them

15-02-2006, 08:46	#3 (permalink)
daveyuk Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Berkshire Posts: 1,150	very good

15-02-2006, 08:47	#4 (permalink)
SammyC Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Bristol Posts: 1,466	Love #4

15-02-2006, 08:54	#5 (permalink)
P-E Loves the place Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Sheffield, S.Yorkshire UK Posts: 7,430	Nice one.........made me smile on whats turning out to be a bad morning for me

15-02-2006, 13:19	#6 (permalink)
jewel Forum Regular Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,133	he he he, good one! I would have to agree with #7 though Venomator Jewel

15-02-2006, 17:30	#8 (permalink)
Joe T Forum Regular Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Amersham, Bucks Posts: 978	Seen those quite recently, but after seeing them this time I decided to send them round at work

15-02-2006, 17:52	#10 (permalink)
GfK Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 861	Number 6 reminds me of "Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Light a man ON fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life"

16-02-2006, 11:17	#12 (permalink)
InaGlo Getting Comfy Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 145	Number 2 & number 6 nail it for me! Thanx for sharing!