[Dave]

A man walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting on her own.
Thinking quickly he buys a drink and goes over to sit next to her. ‘Hello,’ he says, ‘Can I show you something?’ The woman looks him up and down. ‘Okay,’ she says, ‘What is it you want to show me?’ The man rolls up his sleeve and points to his watch. ‘You see this watch?’ he says. ‘It enables me to tell anything about the person I am talking to without asking them a single question.’ ‘Rubbish,’ the woman replies, ‘Your watch can’t tell you anything about me.’ ‘Right,’ the man says, and he stares intently at the watch for a few seconds, ‘I can tell you haven’t got any knickers on.’ ‘Sorry,’ the woman replies, ‘But your watch must be broken. I’ve got knickers on.’ The man looks at his watch in confusion, then gradually a smile of recognition spreads across his face. ‘Oh, that’s right,’ he says, ‘I set it ten minutes fast this morning.’

[Jim Beam]

LOL . Must remember to use that down the pub