[stevegreen]

Following on from my thread about my visit to a camera club here I am posting my first image for critique. It will be interesting to see the different opinions.

This is the first I am thinking of getting printed, it' been posted here before and received good comments as part of a set, but what about this by itself?



The image is a clickable link to the Flickr page where a larger version can be had.

Critique on general composition and subject appreciated

[Dabhand16]

I like this shot. Can't remember if I commented on it individually before, but personally, I would have considered a viewpoint further over to the right to make the diagonal stronger. I know you have composed this to get the edge of the platform going into the distance, but just think the other viewpoint worth consideration.

It is a shame there is not a bit of foreground interest on the platform, even a litter bin!

Try a crop so that the LH rail of the LH track is coming from the bottom LH corner. You can do this by scrolling the image so the browser window crops the image. I think this works better given the lack if interest in the FG.

[Rob Barron]

I think compositionally you have done absolutely fine Steve, and lighting wise it is spot on too. In terms of what you have done as the user and controller of your camera, I can't see much wrong at all so well done on the technical aspect.

Forgive me that I must put this 'But' in here as this is entirely a personal feeling, nothing more. I just feel it is a bit.... boring! I love the way the lines all lead into the picture but they lead to nothing so I have nothing to hold on to my attention for very long. The lighting and fog does of course give a terrific sense of atmosphere and I think some would argue that the strength is in there being nothing there, hence a sense of isolation. On that basis, one person stood enitrely alone on the platform about a third of the way into the picture, collar up, head sunken down into the shoulders, you know the sort of thing, would really give it a 'story' to hold my attention a lot more strongly.

As I say though, that is just my view looking at it as a piece of art. As a technical exercise in photography, it is absolutely fine and you have controlled it really well

Cheers,
Rob

[stevegreen]

Thanks for the comments so far. The lack of foreground interest is something that has a concern for me, especially considering some of the comments that were made at last night's club meeting.

As this is the full size image, how about this for a crop?



Probably needs a bit more work on PS to sharpen it up and maybe darken it a touch.

[Rob Barron]

Yup, it is a bit flat now, adjusting the contrast should solve that

Personally I don't think it needs cropping as that is the depth of the picture. It is only the lack of a focal point that is a bit of a problem.

Cheers,
Rob

[Dave]

I think the original crop is fine & I love the atmosphere from the fog & lights. Print it & hang it on the wall

[P-E]

Think I commented before that I liked this one & still do .......love the fog caught in the station lamps.

[fionaB]

i like the original crop.. tell you what i would have loved to see. the front of a train just emerging from the mist............ they like buses tho. never see one when u really need one!

Fi

[cotter]

Yes I like this and I liked the set. This is what inspired me to go out a few weeks ago when it was misty. (picture of hills and sun in my gallery) cheers for that.

I like what you have achieved here....put a simple black border on it, then get it printed. Good luck.

[skipper954]

The first one has more depth, but the second one gives a stronger sense of the great diagonals from the light diffusion in the fog, rails and fence. They are all at different angles, and together with the verticals of the light poles, there is plenty to hold this viewers interest.

Well done.

skip

[Rob Barron]

I've come back to this picture again and again as there was something I couldn't figure that was stopping it working and I was sure it wasn't just the lack of a focal point. I have now sussed what it is: it's the white light 'outside' of the station which, being the brightest point of the picture, draws the viewer's eye towards it but outside of the main picture.

On the positive side, there seems to be a lone figure in the distance on the right. On a larger print, this figure might be more noticeable, maybe someone holding a guitar case or similar? If that figure was just burnt in VERY slightly, not so it looks too strong as it can't in that fog but enough to make the figure obviously there so as to give us a person waiting alone on a foggy railway platform. That would finish the image off nicely and bring the whole thing together in my opinion.

Cheers,
Rob

[stevegreen]

Thanks for taking the time Rob, appreciated.

I have also gone back to this image a few times today. I'm going to keep playing with it.

I have now selected 8 images for printing for submissions this week and week after next, we'll see how they go down